Fear & Misinformation

When I tell people I work in foster care and adoption, I get a myriad of responses. The responses are mostly positive; however, I do get some misinformed questions from time to time. The question that makes my heart hurt the most is… “What did the child do to be put in foster care?”

Let me take a moment to de-bunk this myth.

Children who are in foster care did NOT do anything to be put in foster care. They are not bad kids; they are not trouble makers; they are not juvenile delinquents; they did not bring this upon themselves; they are not soiled; they are not tainted; they are not less than. These children are innocent and, in all actuality, the victims.

Children come into foster care not by their own doing but what has been done to them - 100% of the time!

I told you last week that you will never find me attempting to coerce someone into becoming a foster parents as I think it is a calling. However, I think many have not ever considered it as an option for them due to misinformation and fear. Fear of the unknown…fear of these bad kids.

A few years ago I was working with a family who wanted to grow their family but was struggling with secondary infertility. Their family of 3 decided to become a foster to adopt family. Soon after getting licensed a sweet little girl who was 18 months old was placed in their home. This little girl was vibrant, could get the whole room laughing even though she was not yet speaking, and took easily to her foster parents. Her personality rarely hinted to the horrific abuse she had experienced in her short life.

She came to the foster home in a cast and sling. At 18 months old, she was in a cast for a broken leg and a sling for a broken collar bone. She did so well scooting herself around on her bottom since she could not crawl or walk due to her injuries.

She allowed her new foster family, strangers at first, to care for her every need. Over time, her sling came off and then her cast. She began walking. The trust she was building with her foster family and the positive interaction they gave her, gave her the confidence to begin speaking her first words around the age of 2 years old.

This little girl flourished. No longer subject to spending hours upon hours alone in her crib without any interaction. No longer subject to cruel and violent abuse when someone did come to room. She needed her foster family, and, oh, how they needed her! I saw 4 lives change when this family decided to put fear of the unknown aside and open their home to a little girl with a broken body.

Pictures courtesy of wix.com photo gallery.